i'm not typically a very spontaneous person. i like to plan, organize and know the details. i love the idea of being spontaneous, i'm just not very good at it...i kinda have to work at it, and that sort of defeats the purpose. BUT tomorrow 2 of my best friends and i are doing something pretty spontaneous...it was thought of and planned very last minute tonight, so i'm counting it as spontaneous....check back later to see what we did! :)
kara
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
He always knows best
tonight didn't turn out quite how i had expected. yes at first i was a little disappointed, but in the end i realized tonight ended up being an incredible blessing. i'm learning a little more each day that God's plan really is better than mine, that He really does have my best interests in mind.
i have been amazed lately to see how God has been having two of my best friends walk paths that are so similar to where i am right now. that is no little thing. i'm blown away that God's plan for me is so precise that He planned for me to have my closest friends dealing with the same struggles, joys, tears and excitements that i am at the same time. seriously that is so cool! i love these sisters God has blessed me with :)
God, thank You for caring about every little (and big) detail of my life...forgive me when i forget that You do
i have been amazed lately to see how God has been having two of my best friends walk paths that are so similar to where i am right now. that is no little thing. i'm blown away that God's plan for me is so precise that He planned for me to have my closest friends dealing with the same struggles, joys, tears and excitements that i am at the same time. seriously that is so cool! i love these sisters God has blessed me with :)
God, thank You for caring about every little (and big) detail of my life...forgive me when i forget that You do
Monday, June 27, 2011
humility, believing and dependence
the last few days have been heavy. it's not that anything "big" happened, but my heart is just heavy with a lot right now. the last few days i have sort of just been in constant prayer throughout my day, and although that is good (and biblical!) i have also felt somewhat drained. as i have prayed for myself and for others, i have found myself reflecting back on some hard times and it's been a bit hard (and sometimes good too) to go back to those places. it's hard to remember times of hurt, to re-live hurt, but it is also so refreshing to see how God worked in those times and proved Himself good and faithful! i need to be reminded of God's goodness because my sinful heart quickly seems to think He has forgotten me when i am hurting.
i had a conversation one day last week that when i reflected back on it really showcased so much sin in my heart, specifically the sin of pride. my lack of humility is something that i am coming face to face with in a way i never really have before. the sermon at church yesterday was all about our strength coming out of our weakness. one point that the pastor made was that we have to "choose to walk in humility", and that one way to do this is to "stop and humble myself before God instead of trying to control situations"...ouch....yea, control is something i struggle with daily. never have i thought of humility as having to do with control, but it makes sense. if i am trying to control everything then i am elevating myself to a position that i do not belong in...there is nothing humble about that.
another point that was made in the sermon was that we must "believe that God's plan is always better". this is probably my biggest struggle in my walk with God...believing that He has a good plan for me. because this is a struggle for me i try to control my life, thinking i have things under control better than He does. this gets me into lots. of. trouble. the only way i have found to combat this is to think back on the good things God has done in my life. it amazes me how i can be so in awe of Him one day and the very next day in tears thinking He has forgotten me...forgive Father for this, i can only imagine how frustrating it must be to deal with me daily.
the final point of this sermon was that we need to proclaim our dependence on Him. one point that was made that i had really never thought about was that when Jesus was tempted in the desert He answered satan's attacks by quoting scripture. if Jesus used scripture to combat temptation then i should be too! i know i need God, but my lack of memorizing His Word is causing me to not depend on Him but instead on myself or friends in times of need. two scriptures from this weeks teaching are ones i will memorize this week.
romans 8:31 "...If God is for us, who is against us?"
1 john 1:9 "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
i had a conversation one day last week that when i reflected back on it really showcased so much sin in my heart, specifically the sin of pride. my lack of humility is something that i am coming face to face with in a way i never really have before. the sermon at church yesterday was all about our strength coming out of our weakness. one point that the pastor made was that we have to "choose to walk in humility", and that one way to do this is to "stop and humble myself before God instead of trying to control situations"...ouch....yea, control is something i struggle with daily. never have i thought of humility as having to do with control, but it makes sense. if i am trying to control everything then i am elevating myself to a position that i do not belong in...there is nothing humble about that.
another point that was made in the sermon was that we must "believe that God's plan is always better". this is probably my biggest struggle in my walk with God...believing that He has a good plan for me. because this is a struggle for me i try to control my life, thinking i have things under control better than He does. this gets me into lots. of. trouble. the only way i have found to combat this is to think back on the good things God has done in my life. it amazes me how i can be so in awe of Him one day and the very next day in tears thinking He has forgotten me...forgive Father for this, i can only imagine how frustrating it must be to deal with me daily.
the final point of this sermon was that we need to proclaim our dependence on Him. one point that was made that i had really never thought about was that when Jesus was tempted in the desert He answered satan's attacks by quoting scripture. if Jesus used scripture to combat temptation then i should be too! i know i need God, but my lack of memorizing His Word is causing me to not depend on Him but instead on myself or friends in times of need. two scriptures from this weeks teaching are ones i will memorize this week.
romans 8:31 "...If God is for us, who is against us?"
1 john 1:9 "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Monday, June 20, 2011
my first day with no job
well, i started this post monday, but then for several reasons (including no internet access) i didnt get it finished, but since it's my blog and i want to remember this time of beginning this new adventure i'm posting it anyway, even if today is thursday :)
i really wasn't sure what today was going to feel like. um, i loved it. i felt like i was back to my old life...the one before oct.8th 2009. somehow when we are doing what we love the day goes by so fast! baking, cleaning, mowing the yard and laundry was what i did today and i seriously enjoyed it. i know that i am not made to sit behind a desk all day, to look at a computer all day or work in an office setting. that is not me. God made me with a love of creating, when i am not creating i feel stifled. i know that i have to be doing something, but not just for the sake of doing...there has to be a reason and a purpose and i want desperately to glorify God and make Jesus known by whatever i am doing. i fail at this daily, but it is the desire of my heart.
i'm doing a study on jonah right now with one of my best girlfriends. we live in different cities so we are doing it on our own, emailing each other thoughts and then talking on the phone about it. i just finished week one this morning and was (i know, i shouldnt be!) amazed at how amazingly this lesson/topic was in-line with my life today! jonah is just the story in the bible about a guy (jonah) disobeying God and being swallowed by a whale right? NO!!!!!! this is a story about hearing God's voice and obeying Him when it makes no wordly sense at all to do so...can we say "TRUST"?! yikes, isnt this exactly what i have been telling God i'm scared to do? "ok, God, i can trust You with some things, BUT these other things, yea, i'll hold on to them...i dont believe You can or will do good with them."...did i just write that? yep, cause honestly that's where my heart has been the last few weeks...willing to trust God on some things, and absolutely terrified to let my guard down and trust Him on others.
last thursday night i was on the phone with a friend and sharing that i was really struggling with trusting God and enjoying life again, that i was happy, but that it was scaring me...im scared that if i am happy again something bad will happen again, so i'm trying to keep my excitement level down and not let my guard down. he quickly reminded me that i am not to live like that, that is living with superstition and Christians are not to live like that, he also reminded me that our salvation is based on trust. i felt pretty convicted, but knew it was going to take some work/time to start living differently. Sunday morning at church our pastor said "fear is not trusting God, and it's one of two things...1-you dont believe God is who He says He is, 2-you dont believe He can do what He says He can do."...ouch. if i am walking around with so much fear, then which of those two questions do i have to own up to being true in my mind?
i'm resolving to live this week embracing being happy...without fear that bad things will happen because of it!
-kara :)
i really wasn't sure what today was going to feel like. um, i loved it. i felt like i was back to my old life...the one before oct.8th 2009. somehow when we are doing what we love the day goes by so fast! baking, cleaning, mowing the yard and laundry was what i did today and i seriously enjoyed it. i know that i am not made to sit behind a desk all day, to look at a computer all day or work in an office setting. that is not me. God made me with a love of creating, when i am not creating i feel stifled. i know that i have to be doing something, but not just for the sake of doing...there has to be a reason and a purpose and i want desperately to glorify God and make Jesus known by whatever i am doing. i fail at this daily, but it is the desire of my heart.
i'm doing a study on jonah right now with one of my best girlfriends. we live in different cities so we are doing it on our own, emailing each other thoughts and then talking on the phone about it. i just finished week one this morning and was (i know, i shouldnt be!) amazed at how amazingly this lesson/topic was in-line with my life today! jonah is just the story in the bible about a guy (jonah) disobeying God and being swallowed by a whale right? NO!!!!!! this is a story about hearing God's voice and obeying Him when it makes no wordly sense at all to do so...can we say "TRUST"?! yikes, isnt this exactly what i have been telling God i'm scared to do? "ok, God, i can trust You with some things, BUT these other things, yea, i'll hold on to them...i dont believe You can or will do good with them."...did i just write that? yep, cause honestly that's where my heart has been the last few weeks...willing to trust God on some things, and absolutely terrified to let my guard down and trust Him on others.
last thursday night i was on the phone with a friend and sharing that i was really struggling with trusting God and enjoying life again, that i was happy, but that it was scaring me...im scared that if i am happy again something bad will happen again, so i'm trying to keep my excitement level down and not let my guard down. he quickly reminded me that i am not to live like that, that is living with superstition and Christians are not to live like that, he also reminded me that our salvation is based on trust. i felt pretty convicted, but knew it was going to take some work/time to start living differently. Sunday morning at church our pastor said "fear is not trusting God, and it's one of two things...1-you dont believe God is who He says He is, 2-you dont believe He can do what He says He can do."...ouch. if i am walking around with so much fear, then which of those two questions do i have to own up to being true in my mind?
i'm resolving to live this week embracing being happy...without fear that bad things will happen because of it!
-kara :)
first day of the rest of my life...
i've heard that saying so many times in my life, and yet it has never felt more real than it does now.
starting today, june 20, 2011, i am an unemployed 30-something year old single girl who is trusting God and following my dreams. i'll write about that whole story at a later date, cause right now it's almost 2am :) i had no intention of starting a blog tonight, or maybe even ever, but i was on the phone tonight and the topic of blogs came up and somehow i said "who would even read what i write?", and i then realized that i read what other people write so why not give it a try? so here i am! i'm at the beginning of an exciting, and yes terrifying, adventure so i think this will be a fun way to journal about it and share the blessings God provides along the way. i'll try to be good about updating it often and hope this will be a fun way to connect with people :)
so, welcome to my blog, i'm glad you came to visit!
kara
starting today, june 20, 2011, i am an unemployed 30-something year old single girl who is trusting God and following my dreams. i'll write about that whole story at a later date, cause right now it's almost 2am :) i had no intention of starting a blog tonight, or maybe even ever, but i was on the phone tonight and the topic of blogs came up and somehow i said "who would even read what i write?", and i then realized that i read what other people write so why not give it a try? so here i am! i'm at the beginning of an exciting, and yes terrifying, adventure so i think this will be a fun way to journal about it and share the blessings God provides along the way. i'll try to be good about updating it often and hope this will be a fun way to connect with people :)
so, welcome to my blog, i'm glad you came to visit!
kara
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)